My Thoughts on July 12th’s Raw
While everyone’s favorite TV mom Florence Henderson tried to keep the Raw roster on the straight and narrow, on the July 12th Raw from Lexington, KY, The Nexus would have none of it, continuing to prove their as angry and out-of-control as Mel Gibson on a phone rant.
The Nexus def. John Cena in a 6-on-1 Handicap Match; WWE Champion Sheamus confronted Cena
Even John Cena can’t stop a rising tide – not forever, anyway. After defying Raw’s anonymous General Manager, the seven-time WWE Champion was forced to compete against The Nexus in a 6-on-1 Handicap Match (Darren Young was out due to injuries suffered at thehands of Cena last week). Despite a valiant effort, Cena was simply overwhelmed by the numbers.
After losing the contest, Cena reevaluated and armed himself with a steel chair from ringside. He managed to lay some serious hurt on several members of The Nexus before his Money in the Bank steel cage opponent, WWE Champion Sheamus, intervened. Brandishing a chair of his own, The Celtic Warrior assisted Cena in clearing The Nexus from the ring. The Irishman was likely motivated by the fact that The Nexus went after him, too, during a series of locker room area beatdowns that targeted several Raw Superstars.
My Take: Now things are interesting. Now Sheamus learns that No ONE on the Raw Locker Room is Safe
The Nexus attacked several Raw Superstars
After lending a hand last week to their fellow Raw Superstar John Cena, Yoshi Tatsu, John Morrison andEvan Bourne all felt the sting of The Nexus. In separate incidents throughout the locker room area, each man was pummeled by the band of outlaws.
“The Santino Bunch” def. “The Regal Bunch”
With America’s favorite mom, Florence Henderson, looking on with pride – and astonishment – in her eyes,Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, The Great Khali &Goldust tackled the challenge of William Regal, Zack Ryder, Primo & Doink the Clown in an Eight-Man Brady Bunch Tag Team Match. In the end, the “Santino Bunch” proved too strong for the “Regal Bunch,” despite the clever recruitment of Doink the Clown, a staple of the ’90s, who competed alongside such unlikely ring warriors as Brooklyn Brawler, Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz and Kim Chee.
After the victory, the amorous Italian moved in for a smooch with “Mrs. Brady,” but Henderson opted out. Instead, she locked lips with – who else? – The Punjabi Playboy.
My Take: This was cheesy but very hilarious
United States Champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry ended in a No Contest
The Miz thinks he’s got all the answers. Unfortunately for him, Raw’s anonymous General Manager keeps “changing the questions.” The mystery GM informed the United States Champion that, after he attacked R-Truthlast week and put him out of the Raw Money in the Bank Match, he must face Truth’s replacement: Mark Henry!
The World’s Strongest Man rattled the United States Champion, but The Miz would not be denied. He dodged Henry’s attack and even dumped garbage on him in a humiliating display.
My Take: Can no one stop the Miz on his rampage?
Edge def. Randy Orton
In what has quickly devolved into an acrimonious affiliation, Edge and Randy Orton faced off in a hard-hitting, tactical affair. The Money in the Bank competitors quickly lashed out at one another straight away. As the bout progressed, their fellow Money in the Bank participant, Chris Jericho, appeared at ringside. The distraction provided The Ultimate Opportunist with just the occasion he needed to force The Viper on his back for the win.
In the aftermath, cunning and chaos reigned. Retaliating for the previous week’s Spear, Jericho struck Edge with a Codebreaker only to be silenced by one of Orton’s RKOs. Money in the Bank rival Evan Bourne soon joined the bedlam. After nailing The Viper with a swift kick, Bourne beelined for the top rope only to be caught by an RKO when he attempted to drop a Shooting Star Press on Orton, who stood tall amongst the carnage.
My Take: This was the highlight of the night! I had to watch it over 10 times. The Second Hour of Raw was epic. Action until the end.
John Morrison scuffled with Ted DiBiase
With his sultry security, Maryse, at his side, Ted DiBiase spoke (down) to the WWE Universe, telling them that he will emerge victorious in the Raw Money in the Bank Match. Having heard enough, John Morrison confronted The “Fortunate Son,” who squeaked out a win the week before thanks to a meddling Maryse. Before long, the two Money in the Bank competitors were exchanging blows. Just as The Shaman of Sexy prepped to land Starship Pain on DiBiase, Maryse dragged him away, earning her keep.
The Usos & Tamina def. Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty & Natalya
Not since the Hatfields shared a zip code with the McCoys have families been so at odds. In a possible preview of their title match at this Sunday’s Money in the Bank pay-per-view event, The Usos & Tamina hard-charged Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty & Natalya in a Six-Person Tag Team Match and managed to shock the Canadian Club with a victory.
Divas Champion Alicia Fox def. Gail Kim; GM arranged Divas Title Match
Karma can be a real drag – just ask Divas Champion Alicia Fox. After Fox faked an ankle injury last week to win her match against Eve, Raw’s anonymous General Manager called out the leggy lovely and arranged a Divas Title Match this Sunday at Money in the Bank.
Before she could defend her title, though, Fox needed to defeat the always dangerous Gail Kim. With Eve looking on from ringside at the broadcast table, the Divas Champion did just that, pinning Kim for the three-count.
My Take: Karma really is a drag, But why is the WWE trying to bury Gail Kim she and Eve are the most talented of the Raw Divas?
The Nexus confronted John Cena
Despite overwhelming odds, John Cena promised to take down as many members of The Nexus as humanly possible in their 6-on-1 Handicap Match at the end of the evening (originally 7-on-1 until Darren Young’s Cena-induced injury). Cena also offered thanks to the Superstars who assisted him the week prior when The Nexus sprung an ambush on him – notably absent from that assist was WWE Champion Sheamus.
Cena was interrupted by announcer Michael Cole, who relayed a message from Raw’s anonymous General Manager. The mystery GM informed Cena that no Superstars would be allowed to interfere in the 6-on-1 Handicap Match or they will suffer a 90-day suspension, and The Nexus must tag in or they will be suspended, too. With that, The Nexus and their de facto leader Wade Barrett, left after chiding Cena before their bout.
My Take: as Cena said, ‘Finally some Internet Justice’, and Cole is starting to get better, now he says ‘Vintage’ once a week